Its been a minute

Sooo one of my friends told me I havent been posting enough but truthfully I have just been busy with life. I got laid off for the 2nd time in 2 years, my car blew a head gasket and my roommate is getting on my last nerve to the point where I'm not even home a lot and if I am Im in my room. I feel bad because she has been a big help to me and my daughter. She watches my daughter for free and we dont pay any rent at the house I just pay some bills here and there and help out where I can with food and gas but Im not just a leech she drives my car about 500 miles a week for work and I have to do all the repairs. That right there should be enough but no she also has a daycare that is running 24/7 yes 9 kids in and out of our house all the damn time Im tired and sometimes I just dont feel like dealing with other peoples kids. Now that Im working again I really dont feel like waking up early to watch one of her kids that comes before she gets home or going home and not being able to sit in my living room because there's 2 kids sleep or watching tv in there. I know thats how she pays the rent and bills but shit its annoying I dont really wanna buy food for the house because she gives it all to the daycare kids. I mean she makes good money at her night job just get a cheaper place! Oh and her neice who is pretty cool has my roommate washing her clothes every week Im not paying the water bill for that. I think she is so desperate to help everybody she is running herself into a hole and its beginning to piss me off because this is affecting my life. Did I mention there are 5 cats in the house too?! So yeah there's cat hair everywhere(except my room),cat food all over the kitchen making it look dirty,and there's always 10 eyes watching me or begging when I eat. I just dont like it anymore so every little thing bothers me. So Im looking for somewhere else to go.Oh and the ex that Im dating again just took like a week off from the relationship Im talking no calls or texts and no responses. He says he was stressed and had a lot on his mind that he just didnt feel like dealing with...cause I dont know what that feels like.His old phone is off and he felt like an apology and a few i love yous would do the trick but he doesnt know I've been damaged by that now I just want stability and action I dont care money or how much you've done for me in the past I look at the present and truth be told nobody is doing shit for me right now. BTW Jay has a new "friend" and I'm just praying for that girl. Im hoping he finally realizes the errors he made in the past and does right by this one although she's in the same pattern as the rest..."oh she's just a friend", "she's interesting"(they all have been), and jumping right into one after the other. I dont hate on him I just dont want him to be "that guy" the one no woman trusts because he's always looking for something better. I've been on both sides of that fence and it never works out...OH IS IT WRONG THAT I STILL MISS FREDDY? I just know he's not ready for our relationship...until next time FML

just lunch?

Quite an eventful week. So I'm still dating my ex but my mind is elsewhere. I have a crazy surgery coming up,I'm unemployed now, one of my cars blew a head gasket but I'm not phased by all that...well OK the surgery scares me. You know what else scares me FREDDY! We had lunch yesterday for his birthday which was very cool I finally felt like the couple I'd always thought we were lol ironically I feel that way now after were no longer a couple or even friends with benefits but we did share a long hug and a kiss guess 7 years never really just goes away.oh and my boyfriend has a habit of not calling for days at a time (yes that's just what he does don't read into it) but he should know leaving me to my own vices is a dangerous thing. When you're in a relationship all the old exes come out of the woodwork and I tend to answer when bored. Trying to be good ....I said trying

just dealing!

Still haven't heard from Freddy and to be honest I don't think he cares in the slightest that I'm not in his life anymore...he kinda looks at it like I was always a joke to him and that's what hurts the most. Been hanging out with one of my exes lately and he and I never had a real problem when we dated I was just young and not ready for the kind of commitment he wanted so I disappeared. I'm excited I get a second chance with him. A lot of bad things have been happening lately...lost my job, my head gasket blew and I'm struggling to get back to my family and of course men smh but man the power of friendship can be so extreme cause my girls have definitely helped me deal. There is one thing though what's to be said if you've been steadily having sex with one person for almost 3 years through different relationships on both sides and call each other best friends but have never tried a relationship? Hypothetically of course is this an obnoxious case of friends with benefits or are both parties missing something...

so much at one time

So much to tell u guys man where do I start? Well remember ru the navy guy well we haven't spoken for about a week come to find out he has a girl who is 9 months pregnant and everybody he's messed with over the past year including me have been his side chicks lol there was literally 15-20 women on his Facebook claiming to be his girlfriend ewwww nasty! I promptly burned everything he had at my house and other women said they were keying his car etc...he deserves all of it! He ran a good game I will say that he used his job as his excuse but damn Facebook gave up all his secrets just like. It does for everyone no surprise! On another note it's weird not hearing from Freddy everyday I'm pretty sure now that he is NOT interested in being just my friend but I can't continue the path we were on it was forced simply because of history and I think too many ppl fall into that trap of staying together just because its been a long time. I don't wanna be that victim oand end up on the wrong side of a love song. I loved him but I was done being in love with him.oh yeah my heart electrotherapy surgery is coming up and I'm still not scared I just know everything will be OK. I just found out my grandfather was a basketball legend in Philly and not many ppl knew about my dad because in his day (the 50's) being a black hoops star was hard enough nobody wanted to ruin his career with a child out of wedlock. I kinda understand just wish I'd had a chance to have known him. Well that's all for now but ill leave u with one question why do women hype up a new relationship while men tend to downplay it? I'll have that answer next time